Dog Diaries vs. Car Diaries

DOG DIARY:
7:00 AM - Outside! My favorite thing!
8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
2:00 PM - Looked out the window and barked! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
4:00 PM - Chased a bird out of the tree! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 PM - Watched my people eat! My favorite thing!
6:20 PM - Table scraps! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


CAT DIARY:
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I Are fed Hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I Nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The Only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an Attempt to Disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their Feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it Clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made Condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was Placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my Confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my Tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and Snitches. The dog continues to receive special privileges. He is Regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He Is obviously retarded.